Time for some more silliness!
Disappointing Magic Items
This selection may not be completely useless, but they definitely don’t live up to their billing.
Chime of Grand Opening
Wondrous item, uncommon
When struck, this magical chime produces a sound of trumpets and applause, and summons a spectral pair of scissors which can be directed by the person who struck the chime to cut any ribbon within 10 feet. The scissors persist for one minute, then disappear. Once activated, the chime cannot be struck again for 1 hour.
Elven Chains
Wondrous item, common
This magical chain is 50 feet long and weighs 5 lbs. It has 10 hit points and is immune to nonmagical damage.
Filter of Love
Wondrous item, common
While wearing these tinted spectacles, you have advantage on Wisdom (Insight) checks made to determine whether or not someone is romantically interested in you.
Lute of Slaying
Wondrous item, uncommon (requires attunement by a bard)
This black lute is decorated with skulls and flames. When you are attuned to it, you are able to improvise killer solos and face-melting riffs with ease.
Pipe of the Public Sewers
Weapon (mace), uncommon
This magical mace looks like a miniature iron pipe. As a bonus action, you can speak a command word, causing it to expand into a 10-foot length of drainage pipe weighing 200 lbs. Once expanded, it cannot be collapsed.
Ring of the Resistance
Ring, uncommon
While wearing this ring, any resistance fighter, rebel, partisan or guerrilla will automatically recognize you as a friend or ally of their cause. You have advantage on any Charisma checks you make to interact with them.
Skeletal Key
Wondrous item, uncommon
This key, made from brittle bone, will instantly open any lock. Once it has been used, it immediately breaks and loses its magic.
