Spells
Comments from the Finger: Earlier this week, I realized that there wasn’t a spell that runs over my enemies with a bus. I decided to rectify this problem.
Modern Spells to Die By
It might seem that baleful modern magic would be dreadfully obvious. Not so! The subtle modern arcana just kills you in ways that you’re likely to die by anyway.
Bus Factor
6th-level conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Self (100-foot line)
Components: V, S, M (a bus ticket)
Duration: Instantaneous
You conjure a speeding bus that flattens pedestrians. The bus appears from a portal next to you and travels at full speed in a 100-foot long, 10-foot wide line in a direction that you choose, vanishing at the end of the line. Each creature in the line must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 10d8 bludgeoning damage and is knocked prone. On a success, a creature takes half as much damage, is not knocked prone, and can move to the nearest unoccupied space outside the line’s area.
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 7th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot above 6th.
Curse of Hiccups
1st-level necromancy
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (a cup of fizzy water)
Duration: Concentration, up to 24 hours
With a flick of the wrist, you condemn a humanoid creature to a terrible fate: nearly incurable hiccups. The target must succeed a Constitution saving throw, or be cursed for the duration. While cursed, it can’t hold its breath, perform the verbal components of spells, or speak without violently hiccuping. It has disadvantage on all Charisma checks.
This spell ends immediately if the target becomes frightened or if the spell is ended by remove curse or similar magic.
Fatal Distraction
2nd-level enchantment
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 120 feet
Components: V, S, M (a cellphone)
Duration: Instantaneous
A subtle but compulsive distraction worms its way into a target’s mind. Choose a creature you can see within range to make a Wisdom saving throw or become distracted until the end of its next turn. A distracted creature makes attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws with disadvantage. The creature is no longer distracted if it takes damage. Additionally, if the creature is performing a mundane activity, such as driving a vehicle, which doesn’t normally require an ability check, they must make an ability check at the beginning of their turn against your spell save DC or fail in some critical way.
Freak Accident
4th-level necromancy
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 24 hours
You place a jinx on a creature you can see within range, which must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature is doomed to an awful fate soon. The first time during the duration that the creature makes an attack roll or saving throw and rolls a 1 or 2, it suffers a terrible accident. The nature of the accident is dependent on the GM: for example, the creature might fumble its weapon into personal injury, run headlong into an obstacle, or slip on a previously-unseen ball bearing and fall hard. The creature takes 8d8 damage, of a type appropriate to the type of accident it suffered.
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot above 4th.
High Voltage
3rd-level evocation
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (thick rubber gloves)
Duration: Instantaneous
A metal object you touch that isn’t being worn or carried becomes electrically charged for up to an hour. The object must be able to fit within a 5-foot cube. The object discharges when it touches the ground, a metal object connected to the ground, or a creature other than you. If it touches a creature, the creature makes a Constitution saving throw, taking 6d8 lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much on a successful one.
At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot above 3rd.
Changelog
7/26/19: Curse of Hiccups: Given a save, Con save disadvantage removed
